Dear Crew,

Boy we've been through a lot together, haven't we? Remember that time we killed all those Geth? Those were good times. The sun was bright that day, and I know this because it kept eating at my shield systems. Two of you were there; I can't remember which. To be honest, you all seem to blend together and it's just such a pain to remember which is which. I know there's a green one, a big one, a black guy, and Mordin and Garrus.

Anyway... It's come to my attention that some of you have... issues with my decision to not blow the Collector base into atoms and instead hand the technology over to the Illusive Man and Cerberus. Why do you all have to keep reminding me? I mean, HEL-LOOOOOOOO! I know what I did; I was there. I saw it happen. Geez. Stop acting like I have no memory. You're disrespecting the souls of the people we lost on that mission. And yes, I do realize people died. I know because Kelly died before I could get her into bed. I remember these sorts of things. What about the people who are alive? You don't hear them complaining. Come to think of it, you really don't even hear the ones who are dead complaining either, so I don't see why we're even discussing this.

Yes, I gave the Illusive Man the Collector base. Why? Because I know that the most popular decision isn't always the right decision. Some of you may say that this gives Cerberus free reign to oppress alien races. But we've all been to the Citadel. You've seen it. Quite frankly I was feeling just a little frustrated with how surly those Turians and Asari were acting towards humans. Maybe this will teach them not to be so insensitive. They've really hurt my feelings. I'm just trying to make this mission a teachable moment for us all. Quite frankly, you should all be thanking me.

I guess what I'm asking is that you all stop second-guessing me. We've made it this far, and my judgement has yet to fail us in any way. And that Eclipse murderer who I let get away doesn't count. I planned that because I needed the Paragon points. The Collectors are dead and so is Miranda, so I think I delivered on all my campaign promises. I think it's time we got back to our roots. Let's start having fun in space again, okay.

You're welcome,
Commander Jim "Superdude" Shepard